Broadly speaking, there are two ways a DM can facilitate a TTRPG game. What I’m talking about here is not how one runs the game itself but rather how one sets up the activity on a meta level, and how one deals with the social dynamics at the table. Regardless of whether or not a DM is thinking about this, they will ultimately fall into one of these two categories.
The first type of facilitator is the Contractor DM. You are a Contractor DM if you decided to run a game on a whim, were corralled into it by your players, or otherwise are acting as if you're basically just another player with a bit of a different job at the table. Contractor DMs are very much like contractors, hence the name. They show up to do a job, and let all the players do theirs. They do not wish to, nor do they necessarily even think to, exert any particular will over the game itself or the social dynamics amongst the players.
The second type of facilitator is the Manager DM. You are a Manager DM if you tend to try to engineer the social dynamics of the game to achieve a certain outcome, and you likely also spend a good deal of time thinking about TTRPG dynamics outside of the game. Manager DMs view themselves as the visionary monarchs of the activity, their players performing a role at their table for the sake of the game itself. In the perspective of the Manager DM, if the game is good then all parties will come away happy. The locus of their focus (heh, rhyme) is on the game itself compared to the Contractor DM whose focus is oriented away from any concern over the dynamics of the game.
As you might imagine, pretty much everyone is a Contractor DM when they start because they simply do not have the experience or knowledge base to exert any will over the dynamics of the game even if they wanted to. But once you get more experienced, you have a choice to make whenever you decide to run a game. Will you embrace the path of the visionary monarch, or take the path of the contractor? Each has its pros and its cons.
Pros of the Contractor DM:
You gain the benefit of disunion. Your players will bring what they want to the table and take what they want from the table. This disunion, or freedom, breeds creativity and removes inhibitions from the players.
You can spend your energy solely on prepping sessions and reacting to what your players do with them. All of the energy that the Manager DM spends thinking about dynamics and enforcing them the Contractor DM can spend basket-weaving, taking on college debt, running another game, or whatever.
You will rarely be at odds with your players because you will not be presenting anything with which the players can be opposed to, excepting the occasional rules confusion. You are merely there, running the game.
Cons of the Contractor DM:
You cannot ensure the integrity of your game world over the long-haul. Your players bringing what they want to the table and taking what they want from the table means that you will have little control over what can occur at the table. Say goodbye to any desire to run a game with a particular atmosphere or feeling - that is up to the players.
While your players will have more freedom and be freer from general inhibitions when constructing their character concepts, they will have little to no direction or guidance on how to construct an effective character concept or on how to effectively play the game. Players tend not to be good at playing the game and this causes them to enjoy the game less. This all starts when they create their character concepts. A competent DM that presents a functional structure for the creation of character concepts can ensure a basic level of long-term joy and engagement for their players.
Pros of the Manager DM:
You can choose the dynamics you want at your table and enforce them.
You can choose the tone or atmosphere or specific genre you want within your game and enforce it.
You can err your players away from bad dynamics that will decrease their long-term joy and satisfaction at the table by creating structures for your players to adhere to before the game begins.
Cons of the Manager DM:
The success or failure of the Manager DM depends largely upon their personal competence. A wise and competent monarch will govern his game well while an incompetent monarch will come off as a tyrant and fail to garner the respect of the players. In the latter case, it is difficult for future structures created by the Manager DM to be respected and adhered to by the players even if they are effective.
The Manager DM must spend their energy not only on prepping sessions but also on designing the mechanical (and otherwise) structures for their game. They must keep a pulse on the dynamics at the table so that they know when to intervene for the sake of the game. This can be exhausting and increase the rate of burnout.
Your players, especially if you act incompetently early on, will lose respect for you and with that their investment in the game will diminish. You may end up inhibiting the creativity and willingness of your players to think outside the box.
Now that you understand the differences between the Contractor DM and the Manager DM, what can you do with it? Well, simply being aware of where you fall on the Contractor-to-Manager scale will help you run your game well. All DMs do some level of managing and spend some amount of energy thinking about the dynamics of their game whether they know they are or not, so you ought to think about your game as effectively as possible and knowing what you are and what your job is, that’s important.
My Advice to Contractor DMs: You are fine where you are and I solute you. If you decide to become more of a Manager DM, make sure not to do so mid-campaign. Once a campaign is underway, there are many structures and dynamics that are fairly hard-coded and trying to change them is a recipe for losing the trust of your players and causing all manner of clusterfuck. Instead, enjoy the current campaign, and when it’s done, do something different - at that point, your players will be more likely to appreciate it anyway.
My Advice to Manager DMs: I speak as a Manager DM who screwed up two consecutive campaigns with too much overhead and too much structure, demoralized my players and myself in the process, took a break, learned a ton, and now am running my most successful campaign ever, currently on session 23. Here is the most important thing. Make the minimum possible changes and impose the fewest possible structures necessary to achieve your goals, and when you make changes, make them as decisive (doesn’t mean massive) as possible. Leave no time for things to fester.
If there are mechanics in a system that do not work for your campaign or general TTRPG philosophy, determine the least invasive surgery you can do, and go forward with that. Once done, do not touch it again lest your players will view you as tumultuous and begin to lose trust. Make sure you get things right from the get-go, learn from the campaign, and make more changes when you start a new one.
If there are social dynamics at your table that are not conducive to a functional, meaningful, enjoyable game, you definitely ought to change these, but make sure that you understand how your players operate before doing anything. Some players merely need to be told why what they are doing is bad and they will change. Other players are not at that level of self-awareness or impulse-control but will respond to incentives, whether they be mechanical or social. Some players really appreciate written documents that explain the philosophy behind optimal social dynamics while others would prefer you throw a lemon at them whenever they do something unideal. Sometimes a player is simply not compatible with your vision for the game or has social flaws that you cannot change and you may need to remove them from your game (more on this in a future article). Know your players, know what is possible to manipulate, know what you actually need to do to change their behavior, and do that. Very rarely will you be in a one-size-fits-all situation.
Lastly, make sure that you do not get consumed by the pursuit of more-perfect dynamics. Analyze the situation for actual problems, figure out actually-effective solutions, enact them, and then sit back and run your game. Maybe even take a page out of the Contractor DM’s book. At the end of the day, your foremost goal should be your own enjoyment. If that’s not there on a basic level, you likely need to take a step back from managing and focus on appreciating.
In sum, all DMs will fall into one of two categories, the Contractor DM or the Manager DM. The Manager DM spends a lot more time on the game and its dynamics than the Contractor DM, leading to greater potential but also graver risk. The Contractor DM’s game and its dynamics are largely at the whims of the players, for better or worse. Know your type, and if you don’t like it, change it, but be smart and tactical, always.
Well, I feel seen. I've definitely cut my teeth by over-managing to the point of inventing whole new systems.