Running a Game is Like Making a Film, But Not Really
The Star Player and the Character Actor Player
There are, broadly-speaking, two mindsets that players hold about how player characters ought to be treated by the DM and the rules of any given TTRPG system. One mindset is characterized by the “star” dynamic and one by the “character actor” dynamic. DMs also fall into these mindsets, often without knowing, and it comes out in the way they run scenes in their games.
To You the DM: Understanding where your players fall on this spectrum is key to maintaining their investment over the long haul and preventing yourself for making DMing mistakes that will cost you players.
To You the Player: You ought to know which mindset you exist in, especially because you likely didn’t choose your mindset in this case. By understanding the two mindsets, you can. You may find that you get burnt out of your characters or get frustrated at games because the DM is running for the opposite mindset. While a DM can run for both, it is an incredibly difficult task for most, so games tend to orient towards one or the other. Watch out to make sure that you actually enjoy the games you play in, and change or leave the ones you don’t.
What are the Two Mindsets?
I’ll make an analogy to the movie industry - if we view players as actors for a moment, then there are two types of players: stars and character actors. You see, in Hollywood, there are stars (you can name many of them) and some are good at acting and some aren't good at acting but they, more or less, all function off of the allure of the avatar they create for themselves, the way people perceive them. You likely know very little about any of their actual selves, but you know a lot about what they present themselves to be, and because their careers are largely predicated what they present themselves to be and the feelings that such presentations evoke in the masses, there are certain things they will not let happen to them - in any film, the character they play cannot ever be ultimately portrayed as pathetic or worthy of the scorn of the audience because it might affect the audience's view of their IRL avatar I mentioned above. A star actor will sign off on their character in a film doing bad things, even horrible things, but only if there is a justification presented beforehand or expediently after to the audience that alleviates any real degradation of the character’s dignity.
So anyway, most modern TTRPG systems where the players play heroes set players up to be stars - it is not okay for a player to feel like their character is pathetic, and players accept this concept and often internalize it without knowing. For example, in modern D&D, most spells are designed so that the enemy must make a roll to resist the effect; if they fail their roll the spell obviously affects the enemy but even if the enemy succeeds on their roll to resist the spell, the spell still affects the enemy in some way (Fire Ball deals half damage to enemies when they succeed on their saving throws rather than none) and this is to ensure that every player feels like they accomplished something whenever they take an action. As another example in modern D&D, though characters can miss their attack and deal no damage (thus not doing much of anything that round), the chance of this is severely reduced compared to old editions - monsters have low armor classes and high hit point pools, a design choice made for the same reason. Monster attacks that instill some lasting condition on a player character nearly always let the player character roll to end the effect every turn. Compare that to certain abilities (Hold Person comes to mind) in D&D 1e where you got one roll and if you failed it you were paralyzed for a full minute (or was it an hour?) without any recourse. Most players, without thinking about it, act like stars as opposed to character actors, requiring a similar level of appeasement from the DM as a Hollywood star requires from the writer and director of a film. This is not a bad thing when things are going well because star players can add a lot of energy to the game when they feel epic, but stars are fragile when things begin to go poorly for their characters - the star player is likely to lose investment in their character and the game if they feel like something negative occurred and they didn't have as much recourse as they feel entitled to.
Conversely, you also have character actors in Hollywood: actors that are not celebrities, might be somewhat famous or rich at best but don’t hold the power of the star and thus they must succeed by their acting ability and willingness to play characters even when they are flawed, pathetic, or otherwise not shown in the best light. (Tangent: Sometimes a star is willing to play the role of a character actor but this is very rare in the modern film industry.) In the context of TTRPGs, character actors are players who want to play their character through the thick and thin of the human condition and do not expect or feel entitled to any sort of special heroic treatment from the system or the DM. In fact, they relish opportunities to react to things that happen to their characters, whether they increase or decrease their character’s dignity. DMs often tend towards character actor players while forever-players tend towards the opposite, but few DMs actually run games accordingly. Here’re two examples to illustrate the difference between these two types of players in action:
When the players inevitably forget something that hurts their chances when in a critical situation, what ought the DM to do?
The conventional wisdom is that the DM should never let a character fail solely due to the momentary lapse of the player, especially if it is something fairly-obvious.
If the conventional wisdom is not followed, star players will feel cheated or angry because their characters will have been rendered somewhat dumb or pathetic in the situation and without any redeeming narrative thereafter. This is totally legitimate in the sense that their characters did suffer a lapse of forethought in the situation and if that ought to be avoided, then the DM did cheat the players.
Character actor players often don’t mind the conventional wisdom being followed (and thus DMs are typically wiser to follow it at least for the sake of good table relations since star players absolutely care and character actors don’t mind). However, character actor players wouldn’t mind exploring the reality of a character having a lapse of forethought every now and again - if a part of the human condition exists in the real world, then why can’t it exist in a TTRPG world? The character actor player does not feel entitled to immunity from this eventuality, nor do they view it as inherently bad or uninteresting. Someone of the character actor mindset might argue that to cultivate a truly engaging and meaningful game, it is not enough for players to solely be able to make decisions that have consequences; players must also be able to make mistakes and have accidents that have consequences.
By the rules of the TTRPG system as written, a monster sneaks up on the player characters and attacks one of them all without the players making any rolls (the DM rolls the monster’s stealth against the passive perceptions of the player characters if you are playing D&D 5e), scoring a critical hit and killing one of the characters then and there.
The star player obviously despises even the idea that this could occur. It is unthinkable that a DM would deprive a player of their character without any ability for the player to react. There must be at least some small chance that the character can do something to survive. If you the DM pull this (actually completely mechanically-legitimate) move on any character at the table, you risk losing the star player’s investment in the game then and there.
If you the DM pull this move on a character at the table, you might win over your character actor players for all time. “What? A monster can do the same things as us player characters? The DM has the balls to pull this move? Wow! This world is actually fuckin’ scary! Holy shit!” Further, the character actor player relishes the opportunity to react to a significant and sudden event such as this one. A character death is fodder for the character actor player in all situations but it is only fodder for the star player if the death is deemed narratively-appropriate by them, more or less occurring only when a player gives the DM their consent for their character to die in a given situation.
Star players will get burnt out on their character and on the campaign more broadly if their character (or another) becomes impugned or killed in some way they did not want, whereas character actor players will get burnt out on their character and on the campaign if the DM prevents certain outcomes from occurring solely for the sake of protecting the players and their characters. I ought to mention yet again that players are generally easily-satisfied, but do too much that jars against their mindset and you will lose them.
Conclusion
So, as always, you the DM need to know your table and your players, because I just presented you a bit of a catch-22. Given that there are far more star players than character actor players, most DMs run games that tailor to the former, but that need not be the default. Luckily for everyone in the TTRPG hobby, it ain’t actually Hollywood. You the DM can set the expectations at the forefront of the campaign and you the player can request what you want from the DM.
I recommend to you the player that you figure out which mindset you adhere to, and if you ever transgress that mindset (oooh, interesting!) for the sake of something else. If you are a star player, recognize that you are likely cheating yourself and others out of a good deal of potential meaning and joy, and if you are a character actor player, recognize that the TTRPG world is not currently built for you and so you must submit to the opposite mindset while not holding it as your own.
Well that would be a sucky ending to the article if it stopped here. So here’s the second ending where I first bring you down and then build you back up in my tough-love sort of way: Whatever mindset you adhere to, you probably feel demoralized from the first ending to my article assuming you don’t outright reject my premises. I can assure you of two things though: 1) that I am right, and 2) that if you the player want something out of a game you are playing in or about to play in, if you ask for it, there is a non-zero chance that it will happen.
Player or DM, fortune favors the bold.